Saturday, July 01, 2017


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Sven and Ole

Minnesota mechanical engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by and asks what they were doing.
'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Sven, 'but we don't have a ladder.
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches, and walked away.
Ole shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'
Sven and Ole are currently working for the United States Government.


Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it!

This Holiday Weekend...Arrive Alive!

...Drink and Drive and expect to see this! Just be smart...ARRIVE ALIVE-- DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, The Life You Save May be Your Own!

Friday, June 30, 2017


First Class is there to remind you you're not in First Class.


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Now that's a golf shot!

Nothin to it...HA!

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Everyone carries a spark of the Creator. This means,everyone
We learn from this to never discount a person because of how they look, or even how they behave for that matter. 
Even the most seemingly negative person can have a message for us if we approach them with an open heart and an open mind.

WD40 I'm Lovin' it!

What IS The Main Ingredient of WD-40?
Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40?

No Cheating.....
WD-40 ~ Who knew!
I had a neighbor who bought a new pickup.
I got up very early one Sunday morning and saw that someone had spray painted red all around the sides of this beige truck (for some unknown reason).
I went over, woke him up, and told him the bad news.
He was very upset and was trying to figure out what to do....
probably nothing until Monday morning, since nothing was open.
Another neighbor came out and told him to get his WD-40 and clean it off.
It removed the unwanted paint beautifully and did not harm his paint job that was on the truck. I was impressed!

WD-40 who knew?
"Water Displacement #40".
The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts.
WD-40 was created in 1953, by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company.
Its name comes from the project that was to find a 'Water Displacement' Compound.
They were finally successful for a formulation, with their fortieth attempt, thus WD-40.
The 'Convair Company' bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.
Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.
When you read the 'shower door' part, try it.
It's the first thing that has ever cleaned that spotty shower door.
If yours is plastic, it works just as well as on glass.
It's a miracle!
Then try it on your stovetop.
It's now shinier than it's ever been.
You'll be amazed.

WD-40 Uses:
1. Protects silver from tarnishing.
2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.
3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.
4. Gives floor that 'just-waxed' sheen without making them slippery.
5. Keeps the flies off of Cows, Horses, and other Farm Critters, as well. (Ya gotta love this one!!!)
6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.
7. Removes lipstick stains.
8. Loosens stubborn zippers.
9. Untangles jewelry chains.
10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.
11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.
12. Keeps ceramic / terracotta garden pots from oxidizing.
13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.
14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.
15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.
16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.
17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on both home and vehicles doors.
18. It removes that nasty tar and scuff marks from the kitchen flooring.
It doesn't seem to harm the finish and you won't have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off.
Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.
19. Remove those nasty Bug guts that will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly!
20. Gives a children's playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.
21. Lubricates gearshift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers...
22. Rids kids rocking chair and swings of squeaky noises.
23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.
24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.
25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.
26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.
27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans.
28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.
29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.
30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.
31. Removes grease splatters from stovetops.
32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.
33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.
34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).
35. Removes all traces of duct tape.
36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
37. Florida's favorite use is: 'cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.'
38. The favorite use in the state of New York, it protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it's a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose.
Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.
41. It is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray it on the marks and wipe with a clean rag.
42. Also, if you've discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and rewash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!
43. If you spray it inside a wet distributor cap, it will displace the moisture, allowing the engine to start.

As for that Basic, Main Ingredient.......
Well.... it's FISH OIL....

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof in Historic Thalian Hall, Wilmington NC, circa 1985


This is Maturity:
To be able to stick to a job until it is finished;
to be able to bear an injustice without wanting to get even;
to be able to carry money without spending it;
and to do one's duty without being supervised.

Handsome Ransome

My Pal!
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You'll Know...

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A Simple Lesson

Teach me Father, when I pray,
not to ask for more,
But rather let me give my thanks
For what is at my door.
For food and drink, for gentle rain,
For sunny skies above,
For home and friends, for peace and joy,
But most of all for love.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

WorldofWonder..."Brando did it. I do it."

Short Doc OTD: “I Was Ronald McDonald”

Joe Maggard was McDonald’s eponymous mascot from 1995 to 2007.
He was eighth of nine men to have done the job. But what happens after you step out of the big red shoes? Maggard says you never truly retire from being the fast-food chain’s Chief Happiness Officer. At a carnival in Las Vegas as he dons the costume again, and offers advice on healthy eating and the importance of being Ronald.
Spooky, spooky, spooky.  “I am Ronald now,” he says when he changes into his clown outfit. “Joe is present but, no, I’m Ronald. I’m him. I’m the clown. You can sit there and say ‘You psychotic bastard!’ It’s getting freaky in here. But it’s as a performer better when you can distinguish your character from yourself. It’s called method. Brando did it. I do it.”
Watch the doc below.


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"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."--GhandiGi

Art by Joe Maggard

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There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way!

Monday, June 26, 2017

Confucius say...

1. Crowed elevator smell different to midget.
2. War doesn't determine who's right, War determines who's left.
3. Man with one chopstick go hungry.
4. Man who run in front of car get tired.
5. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
6. Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
7. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
8. Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
9. Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home
10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Politically Correct Ways To Describe a Man

1. He is not short, he is vertically challenged.
2. He is not balding; he is in advanced follicle regression.
3. He does not have a whopping great big beer belly; he has developed a 
portable liquid malt and hops storage facility.
4. He is not quiet; he is a conversational minimalist.
5. He is not stupid; he suffers from minimal cranial development.
6. He does not get lost; he just discovers alternative destinations.
7. He does not hog the blankets; he is thermally unappreciative.
8. He is not unsophisticated; he is suffering from distinct social malformation.
9. He is not a total A##hole; he inadvertently developed a case of RCI- Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
10. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has grunt-hog empathy.

The Cowboy Way

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Something Fishy a FunFilm by Joe Maggard