1. I could do so much more if I only had minions.
2. Math--The only subject that counts.
3. I don't have a short attention span, I just...oh look, a squirrel.
4. The Government is NOT your Baby's Daddy.
5. Sarcasm--Because beating the crap out of people is illegal.
6. Old Sailors never die...they just get a little dinghy.
7. Super Mom, Super Wife, Super TIRED!
8. I'm the Boss...my wife said I could be.
9. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
10. I'm not a Doctor, but I'll take a look.
11. Anything unrelated to Elephants is...irrelephant!
12. ADVENTURE before DEMENTIA!