1. He is not short, he is vertically challenged.
2. He is not balding; he is in advanced follicle regression.
3. He does not have a whopping great big beer belly; he has developed a
portable liquid malt and hops storage facility.
4. He is not quiet; he is a conversational minimalist.
5. He is not stupid; he suffers from minimal cranial development.
6. He does not get lost; he just discovers alternative destinations.
7. He does not hog the blankets; he is thermally unappreciative.
8. He is not unsophisticated; he is suffering from distinct social malformation.
9. He is not a total A##hole; he inadvertently developed a case of RCI- Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
10. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has grunt-hog empathy.